


11:02PM

by neutral_nightfall



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 03:09:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8187236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neutral_nightfall/pseuds/neutral_nightfall
Summary: Keith Jacobs is probably at the lowest point of his life when he unexpectedly meets Laura, his high school crush and (unrequited) lover, in the middle of the night.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This short story is more about giving an outlet to personal feelings than it is a proper work of fiction. Regardless, all the characters and events depicted and/or mentioned here are purely fictional.

"It's... nada."

"What?"

I hesitated for a moment.

"It's a no-go," I told him what happened anyway: the job interview was a complete failure. I arrived late and was too nervous throughout the whole thing. Talking like a broken machine did not help. Forgetting what the hell I had written in the resume I brought with me surely did not help either. And a ton of who-knew-what-the-fuck-else contributed to my rejection.

"Man," Hank said, "that just..."

"Sucks?"

"Yeah."

7:14AM. Sipping some of the cheap coffee breathed a little of my consciousness back into me. Somewhat. I needed a good sleep, that was for certain. Though how would I get that in a place like this was another matter entirely.

"Hey Hank, uh," I rubbed my half-open eyes, "do you need the car for anything today?"

"It's Saturday, man."

I felt like all this time I truly underestimated my own idiocy.

"Hey, man, it's all gonna work out eventually. Dontcha worry your head off, Keith."

_Eventually._ My mind lingered on the word. I had to ask myself how long 'eventually' is gonna take.

"Thanks, Hank. I'll, uh... return the car to you before afternoon."

"Much appreciated, homie."

Call ended.

I took a deep breath.

With my head in such a state, three or even ten more cups of coffee wouldn't do me any good - I had been driving all night, after all. A splash on the face will actually do more good. But I wasn't in any real hurry to be back on the road again, so I sat still right where I was, as if waiting for something in particular.

I wasn't the first customer of this nowhere diner here, but only now did the place seem to wake up from its slumber. I had been here since 6AM, dozing off between sips of coffee like some lowlife lunatic. The owner didn't pester me or worse, threaten to kick me out of the place for ordering just two cups of coffee so far, and for that I was tremendously glad.

My mind went back to the events of yesterday: the net went bust, so I borrowed Hank's car to go to the next state to see the interviewer. Only to fail so spectacularly I'd carry it with me for the rest of my life and into the next.

I sipped the half-empty coffee mug. This was another low point in a chain of low points. And the sad part was: I had no idea when it would end. _If_ it would end.

Strangely enough, I didn't give a damn.

What happened afterwards, I was starting to remember.

*****

The voice in my head was coming up with quite extraordinary explanations as to why I was rejected. It didn't show any signs of winding down so I drove on and on, letting the rolling wheels and the engine drown out the noises in my head.

Only when it got dark did I realize that, yes, it had gotten dark. It was tempting to say 'I'm a huge idiot' out loud.

My car was coming up an empty road whose sides were lined by rows of trees. My eyes darted around. Then I wondered just what the hell was I looking for. Probably nothing. _No-freaking-thing._

....Well, even if there was something on my to-find list, I was certain it wasn't here, and neither would it pop up here even if I waited. Some homeless folks were lying about on the pavements, deep asleep. Ahead of me was another car, and just a little further ahead of said car was a hitchhiker. A woman, it seemed.

No trouble, I thought. The driver would stop and give the her a lift, like the gentleman h—

He didn't.

The bastard sped past her and quickly drove out of sight.

"What the fuck?" I muttered. _Should I be the one to help the poor lady out here?_ She sighed, her eyes looked crestfallen. Poor girl: she must have waited for much longer than necessary — I honestly didn't wanna know exactly how long — and that selfish bastard of a man just drove away like she was nothing. Curse. Him.

Though, there was an unfathomable familiarity about her. I felt like I had seen that face before, I was certain of that. Just where? I tried to dig into my mind as deep as I could and went as far back as I could remember, but so far I drew nothing but blanks.

My car stopped right next to her and my mind was still as foggy as ever. She looked at me, and I looked at her then. Then I realized I was staring — just how rude could I be here? — and thus diverted my eyes to the watch on my left wrist so as to stop this weird feeling from making a home out of my guts.

11:02PM.

"Hey, uh, lady," I said, "do you ne–"

"Keith?!"

It turned out I knew her after all.

*****

"Long night, young man?"

I almost jolted awake like a spring. It was the owner who woke me up; I must have dozed off, too tired to function. How long was I asleep? I glanced at the watch: 7:29AM.

"Y...yeah..." I raised the coffee cup to my mouth, only to find out it was already empty. "Drove all night," I let out a sigh, "ma'am."

The old lady just gave me a smile as if to sympathize with me and promptly went off to see to other customers. It was then I decided to go to the restroom – three or even ten cups of coffee really wouldn't do me any good at all.

Splashing cold water onto my face allowed me to recall the events of last night with more clarity to it (finally!). It was Laura, Laura whom I had a crush on back when we were high school students, Laura whom I happened to come across last night, out of all people. How long had it been since we last saw each other? God, too long...

She was a girl next door, by all means except literal. I had a crush on her, yes, but given how much of a fuck-up I was as a student, not to mention my inability to keep my one wreck of a life together, I decided to be silent about it all those years, lest I drag her down this hellhole I had carved for myself. Either that was the reason or there was always too many butterflies in my stomach every time I was around her.

All these years I keep telling myself it's the former, not the latter whenever my mind wanders back to her and those days. I've been doing that for so long I started to believe in it as well. A lie too well-practiced to be seen through, not even by the liar himself.

Seeing how my life turned out at this point, needless to say it wasn't far from the truth.

Going back to my seat, I contemplated paying up and leaving when the old lady approached me.

"Consider this a gift from me to you," she said, and proceeded to fill half of my cup.

I looked at her, puzzled and wanted to ask why. Then I saw that the smile on her wrinkled face was the same as earlier, but within it was a certain kind of warmth which I had failed to notice until now.

"You seem to need it more than I do," she answered my question, despite the fact that it was never voiced.

All I did was sat there and stared at the old woman in complete speechlessness, inside me a mix of admiration and utter gratitude.

"Thank you," I finally muttered the words after a while.

*****

"Keith?!"

Fate was truly a comedian, it seemed.

"...Laura?"

No, scratch that. A _clown_. A clown whose kind of humor is shared by a very few and amuses absolutely nobody. A clown who makes people stagger and cry and wail instead of sending them laughter and joy.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" I asked, exiting the car. Still unable to believe that it was Laura, my prolonged stare must have put her at great unease. She was returning me the courtesy, too, and only when our gaze broke away and the awkwardness started settling in did I bring myself to actually believe it, that it was indeed Laura and not some kind of cruel illusion.

"I work late shifts," she sighed. "And today I fell asleep at work, which is great." She let out an unamused laugh. "It's so freaking late now, isn't it?"

A rhetorical question. I found myself chuckling.

I offered to give her a lift home. Needless to say, she agreed — not like either of us had a better choice anyway. I ushered her inside the car, let her tell me the address and sooner than later the wheels were rolling again. The place was relatively near, and I estimated that it would take.... eh, a little more than an hour.

Off we were, into the night.

I asked myself which course of action was the best to take: either make sure she's home as fast as possible so as not to worry the heck out of whoever's waiting for her return, or just go there at a reasonably slow — but not too slow — pace because this was too much a coincidence to not be the gods above's way of telling me something (about which I have not the slightest idea)?

Turned out it was a mix of both, as I kept a good speed throughout the ride, but slowed down at times. Times during which I kept staring at the rearview mirror to look at Laura. The way I looked at her was as if she would vanish like she had never been there, in the brief span of just a second or two. She ended up here with me through pure chance, and I feared that she would be taken away from me in the same way as well.

I didn't have to worry about the awkwardness or being caught, for not long after we were on the move her dream already took her in its grip. Poor girl — she must have been exhausted. I didn't wanna wake her up, and honestly it was better that way. She got to sleep her tiredness away, and I got to adore her for what she is, who she is.

It was exactly like back in high school: I would look at her from afar, and avert my eyes whenever she looked my way. She was a great friend of mine, I would loudly tell that to the world if I could. Since I was a huge idiot back then, she was always helping me out with my studying. And when I was looked down on by other students and teachers alike (which was more frequently than I would like to admit), it was her, it was _always_ her who was there for me.

I still remember her kind words that set aside a thousand hateful voices. I still remember the pushes she gave me that I so needed when I couldn't find the will to carry on. I still remember that radiant smile of hers which always gave me a little hope every time I saw it.

No, it wasn't hard to fall for her at all.

And here we are. One more left turn and we would arrive at her home. Again: what course of action was to be taken here? I stopped the car, the question turning itself over and over in my mind. I let her go and who knew how many years would have to pass until I get to see her again? I turned my head around and watched the swell of her slumbering body, illuminated by the dim street lights. I remembered how she always kept her hair long and how she always let it down. Now it was shoulder-length and covered her beautiful face like a mess. All these years that passed, Laura had worn them well.

Smiling, I felt a little piece of my heart breaking away at the thought of how much she had endured, and how much more until she finds peace.

I kept my eyes on her as if somehow she would give me an answer. Well, she didn't, obviously. I gave my own reflection a middle finger. Some intrusive thoughts told me I should make the most out of this God-given coincidence in any way possible. _Here's a fuck you to you then, intrusive thoughts._

Still, a decision had to be made. Once I calmed down I turned around to face the sleeping beauty again.

"Laura," I called out.

Nothing.

"Laura."

Still nothing.

"Laura," I placed a hand on her shoulder and shook her as gently as possible, "wake up."

I got a yawn from her and I couldn't help smiling in amusement at her sleepy voice. "Where are we?" Her eyes struggled to open and I let out a chuckle.

"Well, near home."

We didn't say anything until the car stopped in front of her house. Probably because Laura was still finding her consciousness, and I thought that silence was, perhaps, better. The questions could wait forever.

I heard the car door opening and was about to start the engine up again when she knocked on the window. Of course, I couldn't leave so easily.

"How are you doing these days, Keith?" She asked once I was standing outside with her.

"Fine." I surely have seen better times but what good there was in worrying her? "I'm doing fine. Really."

"Glad to know that," she smiled and it warmed my heart. "You even got a car, after all."

"Hank's car, actually," I corrected her. "I'm fine, not amazing." A laugh from both of us, which made me feel a little relieved.

I had to admit, it was great seeing her again. Tremendously great. Much, much more so to see that same smile on her face one more time.

"I gotta go, Laura."

But the longer I stayed here, the more I should find myself on the move.

"Keith?"

"Hank's gonna need it back," I said, walking towards the car. _Please don't make it harder for me to leave — I want to trouble you no more, Laura._ "And not to mention my folks waiting for me back home."

I opened the car door and felt her hand on my shoulder. I didn't want to look back but I did anyway.

"Keith, at least let me say thank you." My heart was as if it wanted out of my chest with every word she said. "You really helped me back there. It was late and who knows what would have happened if you hadn't shown up." She shivered. "What kind of people whose car I would have ended up in if I wasn't lucky."

Then she wrapped her arms around me, and every fiber of my being threatened to collapse and break into a million pieces at that moment.

"Thank you, Keith," she said. "I mean it."

There's power in words, in voices, and right now I was feeling every bit of it. She had lent her voice to many encouragements that helped me be where I am today, for better or worse. And now she was lending her voice again to words so kind that it rang deep enough to touch every corner there was of my hollow being.

I stood frozen like a statue, letting everything sink in, letting everything take its course. I wanted to return the hug, but against all rationality I didn't. Go back to our high school years and maybe I wouldn't have been so despondent in my affections.

She let go and gave me a smile which I knew would be the last I ever saw of her. For a second I desperately wished that the two of us could last. Not necessarily forever, just... a little while longer.

I watched closely as Laura entered her home, her figure disappearing behind closed doors and dark windows. And that was when I knew my time here was up.

I got into the car and started driving without delay. My heart was pounding inside my chest the whole time. If it could speak.... I didn't wanna think about what words would it say to me. I had no destination in mind but to hell with it. Anywhere far enough from here, from her, was fine. But then how far would 'enough' be?

As I let the car take me I looked back at all the times we had up until this point. Letting go, it seemed, was the right choice. My mind was dead set on that. To save me from my own hell would be asking too much of anyone, not just her. This hole I had dug for myself which I called my own life was as deep as a lost cause. There's no saving me from that. Maybe yes, maybe no. But one thing I'm sure of is that my sufferings I will endure alone.

_Laura, yes, I loved you and I still do, there's no denying that._ Tears were welling in my eyes and I tried to blink them away. _But for my story to truly begin, yours will have to end and I know in my heart that it's a price I'm never willing to pay._

The car drove on and on.

Not even once did I look back.

*****

7:57AM.

The sun was still a source of light at this point. Give it a few hours more and it would be cooking me up in no time.

I gave the diner one last long look before proceeding into the parking lot to find Hank's car. More people were entering and the old lady was definitely in for a busy time. I thought about returning to pay for half of the cup she gave to me for free and to give her my thanks.

Looking back at all of it, I puzzled myself: did Laura know? Did she manage to look between the lines and catch all the subtle signs of it? Then again, it was a hopeless question. My heart was still clinging onto her, and as a result my head was pulled along, asking questions which could only be answered with luck too small and chances too slim. Even I myself was surprised at how strong these feelings were after all this time. I thought all the years would have dulled them, like steel exposed to oxygen's corruption.

Or maybe it did and I just don't know it. That would explain why I managed to keep myself from breaking down and confessing to her on the spot.

_All of it hardly matters now,_ I sighed and murmured the words to myself.

I was already inside Hank's car when my phone vibrated in one of my pockets. Must be Hank himself, I thought. He probably needed the car for some reason. And he needed it now.

"I get it, Hank," I answered, fully expecting his voice to either sound panicked or loudly demand that I be where he was as immediately as possible, "you need the freaking car, so just relax, sit tight, an—"

"It's not Hank."

It wasn't Hank's voice. Rather, it was... a female voice that replied.

"Who is this?" I asked.

"It's me. Laura."

"Laura?!"

If there is in fact someone above us all, then right now he must be playing a cruel prank with me at the center of it. I couldn't bring myself to believe it was actually her on the other line talking to me.

I didn't speak for a minute.

"How... how the hell did you get this number?"

"That doesn't matter," she said. "Where are you now, Keith?"

I looked at my surroundings, and it was then that I realized: there wasn't a damn thing that I could recognize. The diner was nowhere — nowhere! — at all. The streets held no sense of familiarity, and the faces passing by were anything but of those that I knew.

The more I looked, the farther I felt away from home.

"Keith," her voice came to me again, "where are you now?"


End file.
